Nothing better than a sunny warm day to brighten your spirits! Mommy time today for lunch with a life-long friend was super! Thanks Amy for asking #1 to get together and taking time to visit with me!! Not many people can say they've had a friend for almost their entire life but I'm SO privileged and honored to say that I DO! :O) *hugs*
After getting Arianna from school, we were off for a long overdue visit to see Dr. Frank, our chiropractor, in Lake Orion for an adjustment. Since it's been over 6 months, I was AMAZED at how well Arianna did! She hopped on the chair unassisted to have her neck scanned and even rested her head on the adjustment step all by herself! I was like "WOW!" She wasn't afraid, didn't need to sit on my lap or have me hold her...her independence and confidence floored me! Witnessing this was another reminder of how far my angel has come through the years.
Chiropractic treatment is something I believe strongly in my heart that helped Arianna's healing from her autism symptoms. In our search for ways to help Arianna heal, all areas of natural methods & treatments were on the list to try. Dr. Frank is a specific chiropractor who works with the neck only. If either of the first two vertebrae are misaligned, then that effects the brain stem, the rest of the spine, nerves and all other areas of the body. At that first consultation, when the xrays were first taken and viewed years ago, we stood in TEARS looking at the alignment of Arianna's neck - - it was like a set of STEPS, literally!! I couldn't help but think that she has been in terrible pain and not able to communicate with us, the fact that her brain stem was literally being squeezed in half for years and unable to do what it needed to because of the pressure etc..., I felt horrible that I as her parent did not know my little girl was suffering. One year of chiropractic adjustments with Dr. Frank and Arianna's neck was STRAIGHT! it still lacked the curve we're supposed to have but the improvement was AMAZING! The pressure was mostly relieved on her brain stem and I feel this was a big help in her ability to improve brain function and learning.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
A mother never stops trying
As a mom, we always want more for our children. We want them to have a good, happy, fulfilled life. We always worry for their safety and well-being...for me, worrying is something I do EVERY DAY for Arianna. What else can I do to help her? How can I come up with more money to pay for and try new treatments that could be THE ONE to get her to the next level? I also feel guilty that I'm not doing enough...enough of what I dont always know, but the feelings are always there. I try to remind myself daily that I'm doing all that I can, doing my best within my means and somedays i'm OK with that...others are the days that I cry myself to sleep and pray that somehow, someway I'll be able to give my little girl the chance of a REAL future.
Towards the end of 2006 and into 2007...Once we noticed some changes with the eye contact Arianna began to make and her actually wanting to be with us, pay attention & have attention from us the search was on! Arianna was wanting to be touched and cuddled more and more - - week by week she seemed to come out of that world she'd been trapped in for what seems like forever. Now knowing Arianna had signs and symptoms of autism, there are numerous books, articles and treatments to consider and it was overwhelming as to where to begin. Some things can help, some can't or don't but you'll never know unless you TRY...and TRYING was about to begin. One finding is that diet can effect autistic children due to them having digestive troubles, allergies and intolerances to things such as digesting gluten, caesin (dairy) and foods in general. Adjusting Arianna's foods as well as giving her digestive enzymes made some positive changes in her but not earth-shattering as what others experienced. In addition to diet/digestive aids, supplements containing added vitamins, amino acids and herbs was trial and error over months of trials. Some things aggrevated her behaviors and some calmed and helped showing improvement. Arianna was not verbal other then limited memorized words until about age 3. Toilet training also was no where near a possibility due to her lack of understanding of the whole concept. That was actual the least of my worries at that point really.
We found there are doctors out there who do various treatments, natural treatments and not medications but to hear that it would cost $300 or more just to get an appointment and THOUSANDS of dollars to TRY treatments and therapies was very discouraging news. SO...we were on the hunt to find someone to work with us and Arianna on a financial level that was afforable. Having been through various natural treatments himself, our special person knew of a doctor who agreed to run tests and was willing to try and help us using things we found may help Arianna. Bloodwork wasn't easy but managed....giving my little girl shots of B12 was even HARDER at first but after only a couple weekly and bi-weekly injections Arianna was starting to TALK!! Yes...another miracle step with lots of random babbling from memorization of videos and experiences, but she was TRYING! Not having verbal communication or a real conversation with your child is devistating but around Arianna's 3rd birthday she called me MOMMY!! B12 shots were done for about 3-4 months with more and more improvement verbally. When that seemed to taper off and giving the injections seemed to be at hers and mines limits, I stopped. The search for more options continued as it always will.
Towards the end of 2006 and into 2007...Once we noticed some changes with the eye contact Arianna began to make and her actually wanting to be with us, pay attention & have attention from us the search was on! Arianna was wanting to be touched and cuddled more and more - - week by week she seemed to come out of that world she'd been trapped in for what seems like forever. Now knowing Arianna had signs and symptoms of autism, there are numerous books, articles and treatments to consider and it was overwhelming as to where to begin. Some things can help, some can't or don't but you'll never know unless you TRY...and TRYING was about to begin. One finding is that diet can effect autistic children due to them having digestive troubles, allergies and intolerances to things such as digesting gluten, caesin (dairy) and foods in general. Adjusting Arianna's foods as well as giving her digestive enzymes made some positive changes in her but not earth-shattering as what others experienced. In addition to diet/digestive aids, supplements containing added vitamins, amino acids and herbs was trial and error over months of trials. Some things aggrevated her behaviors and some calmed and helped showing improvement. Arianna was not verbal other then limited memorized words until about age 3. Toilet training also was no where near a possibility due to her lack of understanding of the whole concept. That was actual the least of my worries at that point really.
We found there are doctors out there who do various treatments, natural treatments and not medications but to hear that it would cost $300 or more just to get an appointment and THOUSANDS of dollars to TRY treatments and therapies was very discouraging news. SO...we were on the hunt to find someone to work with us and Arianna on a financial level that was afforable. Having been through various natural treatments himself, our special person knew of a doctor who agreed to run tests and was willing to try and help us using things we found may help Arianna. Bloodwork wasn't easy but managed....giving my little girl shots of B12 was even HARDER at first but after only a couple weekly and bi-weekly injections Arianna was starting to TALK!! Yes...another miracle step with lots of random babbling from memorization of videos and experiences, but she was TRYING! Not having verbal communication or a real conversation with your child is devistating but around Arianna's 3rd birthday she called me MOMMY!! B12 shots were done for about 3-4 months with more and more improvement verbally. When that seemed to taper off and giving the injections seemed to be at hers and mines limits, I stopped. The search for more options continued as it always will.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Teacher Conferences/School
Love spending my days off with Arianna in the morning, getting ready for school etc... When she learned to put her shoes on all by herself that was a HUGE accomplishment. I'm SO proud of her! One morning she even got her jacket on and I about fell over and my jaw just hung open for a few minutes. The "simple things" are awesome in the world of autism!
Today I spoke with her teacher at Hamlin. We ran a few minutes late getting to school today so I had the honor of walking Arianna to her classroom. Though routines are memorized, Arianna got her folder from her backpack, hung that up and placed her folder in the "in box" to get ready for class. Miss Karen said that Arianna has improved more and more this year especially working one on one following along with lessons, she can do her math and write the number answers independantly with prompting and is more and more social with other students. hard to believe she will be in 1st grade this fall. *sigh*
Back to 2006...early summer Arianna and I met someone who would be in our lives for the next 3 years. at that time we didn't KNOW that but it was a blessing in disguise in regards to Arianna and being able to help her. Being a single mom for over 2 years I wasn't looking for love but love found US! This person had been going through allot of medical troubles through the years himself and knew TONS of information about natural ways to heal the body. As our relationship grew, his wish to help Arianna did too. It was through research that he and I figured out that Arianna had autism...not from some doctor, US. The very first thing our special someone recommended and bought for Arianna was a magnetic mattress pad for her bed. This special negative charged mattress pad filled with hundreds of magnets pulls toxins out of the tissues in our body and in return they get flushed out through the kidneys and urine. Remind you, Arianna did NOT make any eye contact or even pay attention to anyone at this time (summer of 2006). Within 2 weeks of Arianna sleeping on this magnetic pad - - she started to LOOK at us!! A small miracle in it's own....a sign of hope and the start to more research to find ways to help Arianna heal.
Today I spoke with her teacher at Hamlin. We ran a few minutes late getting to school today so I had the honor of walking Arianna to her classroom. Though routines are memorized, Arianna got her folder from her backpack, hung that up and placed her folder in the "in box" to get ready for class. Miss Karen said that Arianna has improved more and more this year especially working one on one following along with lessons, she can do her math and write the number answers independantly with prompting and is more and more social with other students. hard to believe she will be in 1st grade this fall. *sigh*
Back to 2006...early summer Arianna and I met someone who would be in our lives for the next 3 years. at that time we didn't KNOW that but it was a blessing in disguise in regards to Arianna and being able to help her. Being a single mom for over 2 years I wasn't looking for love but love found US! This person had been going through allot of medical troubles through the years himself and knew TONS of information about natural ways to heal the body. As our relationship grew, his wish to help Arianna did too. It was through research that he and I figured out that Arianna had autism...not from some doctor, US. The very first thing our special someone recommended and bought for Arianna was a magnetic mattress pad for her bed. This special negative charged mattress pad filled with hundreds of magnets pulls toxins out of the tissues in our body and in return they get flushed out through the kidneys and urine. Remind you, Arianna did NOT make any eye contact or even pay attention to anyone at this time (summer of 2006). Within 2 weeks of Arianna sleeping on this magnetic pad - - she started to LOOK at us!! A small miracle in it's own....a sign of hope and the start to more research to find ways to help Arianna heal.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
YAY Thursday!
Well, I can say that I'm glad for the ending to my work week. Of course my work is NEVER done being mom but at least on days off my focus can be all about Arianna.
Very happy to get prints today from our 3 generations photo shoot of myself, my mom/grandma and arianna. Cathy at Somewhere in Time Photography did an AWESOME job not only with our pictures themselves, but working within Arianna's abilities too!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Gavin Rossdale - Love Remains The Same
The words in this song SO remind me of how I feel about my little angel. No matter how life as Arianna's mother has been in the past, how life is in the present or how it will be in the future....my love remains the same.
"I never thought that I had anymore to give, pushing me so far", "We shall overcome", "everything will change, but love remains the same" "so much more to say, so much to be done... our lifes still to play"
Some of my favorite lines of this song that I feel apply to our life with Autism.
Hope you have all had a blessed day....today and every day. Tomorrow is a new day waiting to show me how amazing the gift of life is.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Getting ready for another new week
So, it's Michigan alright. 80's one day and down to freezing at night a few days later. *sigh*
Being springtime, allergies are abundant which means issues for my Arianna. Allergies to seasonal items such as pollen and mold effect her in a different way than most others. Myself, it's red, itchy eyes and stuffy nose...for Arianna it means more stimming, toe walking, less attention span and more outbursts. With each season change presents new challenges to work through, we manage but those who live in the world of autism know it's surely NOT easy.
Back to our journey of pre-diagnosis in 2005. After the blow of someone telling me that my child would never be 'normal', I managed to gather myself enough to keep going in this world even if I had a special needs child. My bond as mother grew less and less because I had no idea how to interact with Arianna other than to care for her basic needs. I still had TONS of questions why, what happened and where do I go from here but no one offered information or mentioned how to help her. The only thing MISD did was try to do physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy which did nothing but drive me further into depression as Arianna screamed and cried the entire time she was at those therapy sessions.
Months went by, going through the motions of each day and watching my beautiful daughter go deeper and deeper into this mysterious world of her own. I had NO idea about autism, what it was or that there was something that could be done to help her. Trouble is...she was not diagnosed with autism because in 2005 - the medical profession did not even consider that because she wasn't the typical age (3-5 years old) when they say 'ok, yep - your kid is autistic'. I pulled Arianna out of the MISD program after only a few months and decided I would work with her on my own and in the ways I felt she needed.
In 2006, Arianna still lacked muscle tone more and more as time went on from age 1 to 2, therefore she did not walk...rather she 'walked' on her knees until after the age of 2. I believe that if I didn't start pushing Arianna to do more the way I did - she may never have walked if it were up to her. To my shear joy...at about 2 years and 3 months old, Arianna took her first indendant steps and began to walk.
That first change towards 'normalcy' gave me HOPE! What was to come for the rest of 2006 would be nothing more than God's blessing in my mind. God would send an angel our way that would bring more hope, more joy but also many trials to come.
Being springtime, allergies are abundant which means issues for my Arianna. Allergies to seasonal items such as pollen and mold effect her in a different way than most others. Myself, it's red, itchy eyes and stuffy nose...for Arianna it means more stimming, toe walking, less attention span and more outbursts. With each season change presents new challenges to work through, we manage but those who live in the world of autism know it's surely NOT easy.
Back to our journey of pre-diagnosis in 2005. After the blow of someone telling me that my child would never be 'normal', I managed to gather myself enough to keep going in this world even if I had a special needs child. My bond as mother grew less and less because I had no idea how to interact with Arianna other than to care for her basic needs. I still had TONS of questions why, what happened and where do I go from here but no one offered information or mentioned how to help her. The only thing MISD did was try to do physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy which did nothing but drive me further into depression as Arianna screamed and cried the entire time she was at those therapy sessions.
Months went by, going through the motions of each day and watching my beautiful daughter go deeper and deeper into this mysterious world of her own. I had NO idea about autism, what it was or that there was something that could be done to help her. Trouble is...she was not diagnosed with autism because in 2005 - the medical profession did not even consider that because she wasn't the typical age (3-5 years old) when they say 'ok, yep - your kid is autistic'. I pulled Arianna out of the MISD program after only a few months and decided I would work with her on my own and in the ways I felt she needed.
In 2006, Arianna still lacked muscle tone more and more as time went on from age 1 to 2, therefore she did not walk...rather she 'walked' on her knees until after the age of 2. I believe that if I didn't start pushing Arianna to do more the way I did - she may never have walked if it were up to her. To my shear joy...at about 2 years and 3 months old, Arianna took her first indendant steps and began to walk.
That first change towards 'normalcy' gave me HOPE! What was to come for the rest of 2006 would be nothing more than God's blessing in my mind. God would send an angel our way that would bring more hope, more joy but also many trials to come.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I Love you, Good Night and Sweet Dreams
My precious girl snuggled in bed, no thoughts of worry or concern in your head. Fast asleep in your dreams you are free, no stimming, no repeating...glorious it must be. Tomorrow when you wake i'll greet your smile, have breakfast with you & chat for a while. I send you off to school so excited you run along, the greatest feeling of all... I was chosen to be your mom. Good night my angel, my Arianna ♥ U!
ready for the weekend!
a gorgeous day today for a michigan spring...sunny and 80 - PERFECT! Arianna had a great day with her friends at daycare and at school. teacher conferences are next week and looking forward to meeting with her teacher to hear how she's been coming along at school. My proud "mom moment" was some of her math homework sent home yesterday where she wrote the answers, numbers, by HERSELF without help. It may seem small to most but HUGE for her/us! Every improvement, every sign of improving her thought process and fine motor skills is a blessing.
Back to 2005...once I finally convinced Arianna's pediatrician, well maybe more like I DEMANDED, we were referred to a pediatric neurologist. Trying to get an appointment was like waiting to win the lotto! The first available appointment wasn't for 2 months and the wait seemed like a year. During that time I watched my beautiful baby continue down the crazy spiral more and more into her own little world not wanting to be near me, or grandma, or anyone less and less. Mind you, i was also in the recovery process from my brain injury and had my own speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, chiropractor, psychologists etc... i became depressed more and more and Arianna became disconnected from this world at the same rate.
Finally at the neurologists office, it was recommended to do an EMG to measure brain waves to be sure Arianna wasn't having seizures. I couldnt fully understand the "whys" back then but we did the test. Tons of wires all stuck on my little girls head for what seemed eternity was NOT a fun visit. That experience also caused her to have a horrible fear of doing anything with her hair which lasted for over a year and still to this day she is hesitant with hair washing, brushing etc... Test results were negative - no seizures. Next step was a referral to Macomb Co. Intermediate School for a full evaluation. Knowing that MISD works with children of developmental delays, this next step of discovery to come accelerated my depression and feelings of failure as a parent. "What did I do to my baby?" was the question in my mind from then on.
Evaluations were completed at MISD in speech, motor skills, psych. evaluation and hearing tests - FIVE hearing tests to be exact because they were certain she was deaf. After waiting a week or two for the next meeting, my memory of that last visit with the psychologist getting their 'diagnosis' of what was wrong with my daughter was the most devastating thing a parent could think to hear......." Arianna is moderately, mentally impaired." How on earth could my normal child BECOME mentally impaired??? The sentence to follow was also a huge blow...." Arianna will never be normal, will always be in special education and will possibly never speak or do things that other typical children do."
That was the day that I wanted to leave this world. I went home, drank heavily and told my mom (who cared for me AND Arianna during my own recovery) that "I wanted to go away (aka DIE) because I was a failure as a mother and that Arianna deserved someone better than me." It took my psychologist an emergency visit to our home, lots and lots of her listening to me and helping me cry and a close visit to the psych ward to give me a glimpse of hope to NOT give up....that I HAD to be here for Arianna and find a way to help her.
Back to 2005...once I finally convinced Arianna's pediatrician, well maybe more like I DEMANDED, we were referred to a pediatric neurologist. Trying to get an appointment was like waiting to win the lotto! The first available appointment wasn't for 2 months and the wait seemed like a year. During that time I watched my beautiful baby continue down the crazy spiral more and more into her own little world not wanting to be near me, or grandma, or anyone less and less. Mind you, i was also in the recovery process from my brain injury and had my own speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, chiropractor, psychologists etc... i became depressed more and more and Arianna became disconnected from this world at the same rate.
Finally at the neurologists office, it was recommended to do an EMG to measure brain waves to be sure Arianna wasn't having seizures. I couldnt fully understand the "whys" back then but we did the test. Tons of wires all stuck on my little girls head for what seemed eternity was NOT a fun visit. That experience also caused her to have a horrible fear of doing anything with her hair which lasted for over a year and still to this day she is hesitant with hair washing, brushing etc... Test results were negative - no seizures. Next step was a referral to Macomb Co. Intermediate School for a full evaluation. Knowing that MISD works with children of developmental delays, this next step of discovery to come accelerated my depression and feelings of failure as a parent. "What did I do to my baby?" was the question in my mind from then on.
Evaluations were completed at MISD in speech, motor skills, psych. evaluation and hearing tests - FIVE hearing tests to be exact because they were certain she was deaf. After waiting a week or two for the next meeting, my memory of that last visit with the psychologist getting their 'diagnosis' of what was wrong with my daughter was the most devastating thing a parent could think to hear......." Arianna is moderately, mentally impaired." How on earth could my normal child BECOME mentally impaired??? The sentence to follow was also a huge blow...." Arianna will never be normal, will always be in special education and will possibly never speak or do things that other typical children do."
That was the day that I wanted to leave this world. I went home, drank heavily and told my mom (who cared for me AND Arianna during my own recovery) that "I wanted to go away (aka DIE) because I was a failure as a mother and that Arianna deserved someone better than me." It took my psychologist an emergency visit to our home, lots and lots of her listening to me and helping me cry and a close visit to the psych ward to give me a glimpse of hope to NOT give up....that I HAD to be here for Arianna and find a way to help her.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Hello and welcome to our life
Thank you for visiting Arianna and I today and welcome to our life. I'll start by saying I wish I had started a blog a long time ago, there's SO MUCH that has happened in Arianna's 6 years...but it's never to late to start right?
Today my daughter Arianna is a beautiful, funny, talking, happy and smiling 6 year old who attends Kindergarten. She loves being around other children, laughing, playing, animals, bubbles, movies...her new favorite is Alvin and the Chipmunks, the squeakqual and more. :O) She loves having visitors over to see her and going to visit others with her most favorite being her Grandma Sandy (my mom). The daughter I have before me today was none of the above a few years ago. In fact, she didn't know that anything or anyone around her existed, other than a movie playing on the television or an object spinning in front of her eyes while her hands stimmed wildly out of control.
It will take some time to catch up on the years past, but I'll start from the very beginning of our life together as mother and daughter. On March 28th, 2004 my sweet 6 lb 2 oz & 19 inches long baby girl, Arianna Rose, was born into this world and forever in my heart. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. She was perfect in every way...happy, smiling, eating, growing, cuddly, babbling and a "ham" for the camera who loved the attention of everyone around her. Little did I know that things would change so drastically in little over 1 year...not only for HER, but for myself as well.
I never had any concerns about Arianna's health or well-being from birth, that is until I noticed that something had changed...something wasn't right around her 1st birthday. Even though I had been in a car accident in January 2005 in which I suffered a traumatic brain injury (another VERY long journey of my own recovery), being a mom - I KNEW my child. She wasn't as cuddly or wanting to be held or touched as much. She didn't answer to her name when you called her and her eye contact....that loving little stare into my eyes that made my heart melt, had started to fade more and more as the days went by. Following my instincts and wanting some answers, I started asking questions to her pediatrician whom was quick to tell me to wait, wait and see when waiting was something I wish I would've known I should NOT have done. Little did I know, the fight for my daughters life, her future, was starting right before my eyes only I didn't know it....at least not yet.
Today my daughter Arianna is a beautiful, funny, talking, happy and smiling 6 year old who attends Kindergarten. She loves being around other children, laughing, playing, animals, bubbles, movies...her new favorite is Alvin and the Chipmunks, the squeakqual and more. :O) She loves having visitors over to see her and going to visit others with her most favorite being her Grandma Sandy (my mom). The daughter I have before me today was none of the above a few years ago. In fact, she didn't know that anything or anyone around her existed, other than a movie playing on the television or an object spinning in front of her eyes while her hands stimmed wildly out of control.
It will take some time to catch up on the years past, but I'll start from the very beginning of our life together as mother and daughter. On March 28th, 2004 my sweet 6 lb 2 oz & 19 inches long baby girl, Arianna Rose, was born into this world and forever in my heart. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. She was perfect in every way...happy, smiling, eating, growing, cuddly, babbling and a "ham" for the camera who loved the attention of everyone around her. Little did I know that things would change so drastically in little over 1 year...not only for HER, but for myself as well.
I never had any concerns about Arianna's health or well-being from birth, that is until I noticed that something had changed...something wasn't right around her 1st birthday. Even though I had been in a car accident in January 2005 in which I suffered a traumatic brain injury (another VERY long journey of my own recovery), being a mom - I KNEW my child. She wasn't as cuddly or wanting to be held or touched as much. She didn't answer to her name when you called her and her eye contact....that loving little stare into my eyes that made my heart melt, had started to fade more and more as the days went by. Following my instincts and wanting some answers, I started asking questions to her pediatrician whom was quick to tell me to wait, wait and see when waiting was something I wish I would've known I should NOT have done. Little did I know, the fight for my daughters life, her future, was starting right before my eyes only I didn't know it....at least not yet.
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